


The Merciless Black Hole of Depression

by scarlett_knecht_miserables



Series: From Beginning to End [7]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cutting, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlett_knecht_miserables/pseuds/scarlett_knecht_miserables
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire wakes up and knows that today isn't going to be very great. Enjolras does everything in his power to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Merciless Black Hole of Depression

What Grantaire can't seem to understand is how he has the energy to get out of bed today. 

Or does he? He doesn't know. 

The room is dark and he is alone. Enjolras is either in the shower or making pancakes in the kitchen, like he always does on a Saturday morning. The bed suddenly feels too hot, so he pushes the covers away, exposing his body to the cool air of the morning. He is wearing boxers and a wifebeater; something that Enjolras is very fond of since it shows off his biceps. His legs ache and his eyes are heavy and tired. The light is giving him a headache and he doesn't know if he's breathing or not. 

He tries to get up, since his bladder is about to explode, and it's almost too much. He gets dizzy after a few movements, swaying and feeling nauseous beyond compare. He shakes his head, which makes the headache even worse, and stands up. The floor beneath him is feeling like jelly and his knees almost give out, but they only wobbled some. 

Mornings didn't usually go like this; his mornings are a happy and grumpy affair, filled with the occasional surprise blowjob from Enjolras and cuddles for an hour at most before getting his day started. It was not every day that he woke up and felt like he was being followed by a little monster called darkness and pain. It wasn't every morning that he felt too tired to think or to even cry about the hurt he felt or about the way his insides were being painted black. 

No, it was not every morning that the merciless black hole of depression swallowed him up. 

Did he forget to take his medicine again? Currently, he couldn't remember, as he was finally retching into the porcelain toilet seat. He felt miserable when a hand rubbed against his back, as supporting and gentle as ever. Words of encouragement were whispers, and after a little while he found that he didn't need to be over the toilet anymore. 

"Is it another bad day?" Enjolras' voice full of concern. Grantaire felt like his throat had just been cleaned furiously with sandpaper, so all he gave was a slight nod of the head.

He heard Enjolras sigh. "Well, at least today is my day off." And suddenly, a pair of strong arms enveloped him and sat him up. Enjolras flushed the toilet and put the seat down for Grantaire to sit on. Gently, he pulled off the sweat soiled wifebeater and underwear while he started a bath, keeping the temperatures luke warm while the tub filled up with water. 

Enjolras sat in the room while Grantaire was in the bath, stroking and massaging at his mess of damp curls. "It'll be okay... I promise." he whispered into Grantaire's ear. It was not often that Grantaire had a day where he threw up for the sole reason of his depression (had he taken his medicine?). But, when it happened... when depression DID swallow him up for a day, it is an agonizing long day of merciless pain and suffering for Grantaire. 

Seeing Grantaire this way makes Enjolras, well...

Miserable. 

He couldn't leave him alone to his thoughts; if he did that, he knew that more cuts would magically appear on his arms or he'd drink again. Drinking is the last thing Grantaire is supposed to do when he has days like this. 

It was painfully quiet in the bathroom; he didn't like it when Grantaire was so quiet on days like this. Tracing circles on Grantaire's skin with the pad of his fingers, he lifted him up, grabbing a nearby towel and wrapping it around his waist before Grantaire got out and headed out of the master bathroom and into the bedroom, where he plopped back down into bed. 

Enjolras went through his side of the drawers, looking for his favorite shirt that he knew Grantaire loved and handed it to him. It was red, of course, and smelled the distinct, clean smell of Enjolras. Grantaire graciously accepted, slipping the shirt on and a pair of his own clean sweatpants before burrowing himself into the covers. 

Enjolras tried really hard not to laugh; Grantaire looked as cute as ever. He grabbed for his phone and send a group message to the gang saying, 

**Me: Grantaire is having a rough day. Would much appreciate if you did not bother us. (It's another bad day. And to Joly: no, I don't think he took his medicine.)**

**  
**When the text was sent, he climbed into bed with Grantaire and wrapped his arms around his waist. A few minutes in and he could hear Grantaire's light snoring when his phone blew up.

**'Ferre: Give him my love.**

**Cosette: xoxoxoxoxox we love you 'taire.**

**Marius (The puppy): get well soon buddy.**

**Courf: tell him i love him.**

**Ep: Pretty sure you got it taken care of. I'll leave it to you.**

**Joly: HE DIDN'T TAKE HIS MEDICINE??????? GIVE IT TO HIM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.**

**Bossuet: Give my regards. Get well, dude. ily.**

**Musicetta: kisses and hugs**

**Bahorel: love you, Taire!**

**Little one (Jehan): kiss kiss :* tell grantaire that i'm writing a sonnet called R and that i'm getting a tattoo of the drawing he did for me last month. tell him i love him. xoxo.**

**  
**Enjolras smiled. Grantaire would be happy to see those when he woke up.

XXXXX

Enjolras ordered in Chinese. They illegally streamed Grantaire's favorite movie (Breakfast at Tiffany's) on Enjolras' laptop and went out for shakes later. After, they walked, hand clasped in hand, around the park. 

Later, when they were in bed, and Grantaire was smiling again, he realized that this was the first time he's ever gone a day in a black hole without cutting. 

He thanked not himself, but the man who held him in his arms. 


End file.
